понедельник, 20 октября 2008 г.

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Yesterday I took communion at church. During the service, as you are supposed to, I thought about all of the things I have been doing that made me a bad Christian. I have fallen short on many things. The first thing that came to mind was that I had been falling short on the command to love your neighbor as yourself. Even though April had been mean to me and wasnapos;t making an effort to talk to me ... Neither was I. If I was in Aprilapos;s position, I would want to be reached out to with a hand of friendship and to have SOMEONE�support her pregnancy. The second thing that came to mind was the fact that I have been lazy around the house. I spend hours looking for a job, but I could save that for the evening and do chores around the house like I used to. In the spirit of that is the fact that just because I donapos;t have a job doesnapos;t mean that my life is on hold. I can do things for the Lord without a paying position, so I am committed to the search for volunteer work. The third thing that came to mind was how seperate I have made the Lord from my everyday. At times, I donapos;t think about Him unless it is Sunday. This must change. I am going to read the word of God, and try to keep him on my mind.
Yesterday, I made steps to repair my relationship with April. I spoke to her. I helped her load up all of the baby things into her car and into Ericapos;s truck, and while doing this, I carried on small talk, that resulted in her really responding to me and I think, we are well on our way to a repair.
I�donapos;t care what her motives are, those are things that she has to answer for. The only thing that I can control is how I react to her, and try to be an example of a Christian person. I hope that this baby will be the thing that gets her life in order, that that is Godapos;s plan. As for everything else, slow and steady movements with the best of intentions.



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воскресенье, 19 октября 2008 г.

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Ze hebben dan wel een hele schattige naam, maar wat haat ik die beesten
Het wordt winter dat wil dus zeggen dat ze een plek zoeken om te overwinteren. In mijn geval is dat dus MIJN SLAAPKAMER Ik zit de hele dag beestjes weg te schieten Zo irritant Ik zie ze overal lopen. Vreselijk Heeft iemand een idee hoe ik van die beesten af kom Als ik ze naar buiten gooi komen ze gewoon weer terug. Of naar de kamer van mijn zusje.. Van mij hoeven ze zich niet zo veel voort te planten............



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суббота, 18 октября 2008 г.

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So, umm yeah.
everything just got WAY more complicated
josh has been smoking dope with the neighbors.
im serious.

HOW IN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN
dude, my bf has been smoking the same drug that almost killed my dad.
and im so heart-lead and too soft to just leave him.

we are moving this weekend.
away from dope-heads and too a fresh start.

i havnt went to school in two weeks.
i let myself be hurt. I dont understand me.

i love josh. What do i do.

if he stays and he ruins my life, it is my fault.

ya know, josh was arrested on my 18th bday for that drug, and now on his 21st, i find out he is doin it again.
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